Cover illustration by Allan Kass
Lana was never sure if she had
taken the Prince case because of the lure of Hollywood and Las Vegas, or
because Dr. Gil Whitaker had practically forbidden her to get involved. But
what started out as an uncomplicated case and a chance to be near the doctor
she loved turned into a nightmare. Her patient, famed comedian Reggie Prince,
decided he wanted a closer relationship with Lana than medical rules required.
And he certainly was a charming host, surrounding her with the glamour of TV,
nightclubs, and posh estates. But nothing seemed to work out right. As Reggie’s
attentions increased, Gil seemed to content to drop out of the picture. Was she
doomed to lose the man she loved over a one-sided flirtation with a Hollywood Romeo…?
GRADE: C-
BEST QUOTES:
“A thing doesn’t hurt any less because it’s trite.”
“If this is what the doctor ordered, I’m ready to cooperate.”
“She was dark-haired, dark-eyed, a sultry siren-type who had taken on
pounds along with years and was now desperately trying, with the aid of cosmetics
and an expensive, hopefully slimming pants suit, to fight the battle against
middle age.”
REVIEW:
Our heroine, Lana Stafford RN, is a dope. She’s in love with Dr. Gil
Whitaker, who operates a specialty practice, treating patients who are movie
stars, writers, and television personalities. He’s gone to lunch with her a few
times and once to the movies, but he just hasn’t demonstrated any real
interest, damn the man. Then Lana learns of a private duty job caring for one
of his patients, fading comedian Reggie Prince, and decides to apply for the
job, just so she will be able to see Gil from time to time … and, just maybe,
“in a glittering atmosphere, not hushed and subdued and miserable, where she
wasn’t overworked empathizing with a dying patient, he would see her in a
different light.” Gil takes her to dinner in an attempt to talk her out of the
job, calling her childish and naïve to think that caring for this allegedly
glamorous personality will be anything but hell on wheels. But she insists
until, “half irate,” he agrees to take her to meet Reggie Prince to see how
awful he really is.
At Reggie’s monstrous, Grecian-style mansion, the Prince puts on quite
a show, screaming at his employees and discussing the merits of rose-hip tea and
ocean kelp diets with Gil. The doctor, the only one in the room with any sense,
suggests that instead of dieting, Reggie should stop drinking, smoking three
packs of cigarettes a day, and popping benzos, but Reggie seems less than
interested in this advice. So naturally Lana decides to take the job, because
“it would be fun, going to Vegas, being around during the filming of a TV
special,” even though Gil is livid that she has disregarded his advice. Maybe
not the best way to win his affection, but that’s just my opinion. Curiously,
Lana seems bewildered that Gil doesn’t kiss her goodnight when he drops her
off.
On the job, she finds she has little to do except lie around the pool
and unsuccessfully attempt to persuade Reggie to stop drinking, smoking three
packs of cigarettes a day, and popping benzos. Despite his utter disregard for
her advice, and his increasing regard for her figure, Lana adopts a protective
attitude toward him, suggesting to his ex-wife and current girlfriend that
Reggie is “wound up like a clock spring,” and doesn’t need them “hassling him
about whatever it is that’s annoying you.” This does not win her any friends,
needless to say, and it’s also rather inexplicable, as there is really nothing
at all in this character to arouse pity.
Unfortunately, the bulk of the story involves watching Reggie wind
himself and his staff into increasing frenzies as they prepare for the taping
of a TV special that they are writing and producing. Reggie is in dire straits,
it turns out, and the special is intended to revive his wilting career. Lana
feels increasingly sorry for him, despite his abusive and self-destructive
behavior, and continues to feel puzzled and hurt that Gil is cold and distant. Neither
of her attitudes toward these men is in the least bit comprehensible, which
makes the book seem a lot longer than it actually is.
Eventually Reggie and his motley staff head for Las Vegas to tape his show.
Given the hysteria Reggie has worked himself into, it is small wonder that the
show is a complete flop. Lana, oddly, lies to him and tells him how great he
was—she’s traded in the role of nurse for that of major enabler. Then Reggie
starts gambling heavily with three vicious-looking sharks, and when the big
loss comes, Reggie literally hustles Lana out the back door onto a private jet
that takes them to his ranch in Texas. The rest of the gang catches up a few
days later, scared and pissed off, and Reggie’s business manager has been
beaten to a pulp to boot. Turns out Reggie’s in the hole for $150,000 and has
48 hours to pay or he’ll be fish food—but naturally he’s in debt up to his
bloodshot eyeballs and can’t come up with the dough. When the thugs finally track
Reggie down, they’re not too happy, and one of Reggie’s party is murdered. Lana
is kidnapped so they can “dispose of the witness”—though they could have just
killed her on the spot—but before they have a chance to do her in, the cops
track them down, shoot up the car, and rescue Lana, miraculously unhurt. Reggie
is carted off to the psychiatric ward, and Lana has two pages at the end to
admit how wrong she was to not do as Gil had asked. And listen to his
admonishments: “Like, when you promise to love, honor, and cherish, that’s not
the end of the line. You’ll have to listen to my advice. When I think I know
what’s good for you, you’ll have to pay attention,” he tells her, and not at
all smugly, either.
Jane Converse does enjoy the over-the-top Hollywood character, but
Reggie is just an abusive ass, unpleasant to read about. Lana’s inexplicable
concern for him and immediate enlistment as enabler-in-chief makes the book
even less enjoyable. Jane Converse will always occupy a tender place in my
heart, largely for her magnificent Surf
Safari Nurse, but this was just not one of her better efforts, and I
suggest that you leave Las Vegas behind.
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